GET BLITZED REVIEW 5!
Brewery: Eel River Brewing Company
Style: American Porter
Serving Style: Bottle
Glassware: Pint glass
Drinking Establishment: Kerensa’s apartment
Primary Consumer: Kerensa
Sight: Dark orange and brown, medium opaque body with a centimeter of beige head. Tiny carbonation bubbles cluster at the edge.
Scent: Strong burnt coffee aroma, with a lingering scent of isopropyl.
Flavor: Predominantly bitter, burnt coffee taste with a bit of sweetness at the end.
Feel: Prickly mouthfeel. Over-carbonated with a very thin, watery body. Even for someone with an open obsession with all things carbonated, this is a bit much for me.
Concluding remarks: The initial taste of coffee is nice, but quickly fades into murky nothingness. As the contestants of that one MTV dating show from the mid-2000s screamed, NEXT! I’ve had too many better Porters this month. There really is no reason to drink this again, unless it was sitting in a cooler at someone’s party. While not offensive by any means–it does have a decent coffee flavor–I just can’t sit here typing, pretending that this is even in the same category as the Smuttynose Robust.